Melissa Read online

  Instead she’d just ended up feeling more isolated. Maybe she’d retreated into a state she knew well. She’d been isolated all her life in so many ways. It was not that she was difficult by any means, but …

  She stopped thinking about it. Yet her mind continued. She was reserved, a little harder to get to know, and that had caused her trouble. A lot of people said that she was cold, introverted, even though that wasn’t true. She was just not somebody who spoke openly about her feelings or about the hardships that she’d gone through.

  It seemed like everybody in the world had hardships, and that made her feel like hers were relegated to the so what category. Although many hadn’t seemed to go through what she had gone through, yet to even think like that sounded like she was making excuses. Like she was coming up with a reason to justify her feelings, whereas what she really needed to do was just accept that they existed and stop trying to justify them. She’d heard that advice time and time again from various people, but it wasn’t the easiest thing for her to let go.

  That was part of the reason she wasn’t looking forward to seeing a shrink here. That would mean dealing with a whole pile of history that she wasn’t prepared for.

  Just around that time, her bladder insisted on being emptied. Taking a deep breath, she slowly sat up. Then she gingerly swung her legs to the floor. It would take a minute to get some blood circulating through the rest of her as it was, and getting off the bed tended to feel more like a jump instead of just a step. But she made it, finally, in an awkward slide. Standing on her feet, she limped her way to the bathroom.

  By the time she was done, she craved a shower. It was early, so she shouldn’t have any conflicting issues with that. Inside the shower stall she scrubbed herself from head to toe, loving the feel of the hot water running over her sore shoulders and neck.

  As she stood under the water, she slowly did some stretches that Shane had shown her to loosen some of her muscles. They were surprisingly effective. By the time she was done, dried off, and dressed for the day, she had her shoulder-length hair pulled into a hair clip at the back of her head.

  She made her way again to the bed and checked her cell phone for the time. It was just seven-thirty. Maybe too early for breakfast but not too early for coffee. She studied the wheelchair and realized that, as much as she didn’t want to use the wheelchair, walking down there and back again would wear her out before her day had even begun. It would have to be the wheelchair, whether she liked it or not. She got in and slowly pushed herself out to the hallway and down to the cafeteria. With any luck it might be empty.

  As she wheeled through the double doors, she saw that it wasn’t empty, but it was definitely calmer and quieter then normal. No food was out on the buffet, so she headed to where the coffee was set up. The man who she had come to recognize as the head of the kitchen area, even if he wasn’t the chef, Dennis, stood there putting on fresh coffee. At the sound of her wheels approaching, he turned, looked at her, and a big smile crossed his face.

  “Now that’s a good sign,” he said.

  She looked up at him in surprise. “What is?”

  “To see you here. Pretty and bright and early.”

  “And here I thought it was a sign I had a bad night,” she said drily.

  He laughed. “That too,” he said. “But you’re up and active, and that’s worth a lot.”

  She wondered at his eternal optimism but was ready to let it go because he seemed so happy. And honestly, that was contagious. “I am hungry.”

  “Coffee first,” he said. “Muffins, yogurt, granola, all kinds of easy breakfast stuff, like fruit balls, are on the sideboard,” he said. “And we’ll have hot food out any minute now.”

  “That early?”

  “We’re running a little behind this morning,” he said, “but not to worry. By the time you get your coffee to a table, I’ll have the pans out.” On that note, he headed behind the kitchen counter and disappeared through the double doors into the back.

  She chose a table out in the sun and put her cutlery and coffee down, then turned to go back in inside. And, sure enough, as soon as she was in the line, now two people stood in front of her. Then Dennis came out with a trolley full of trays. She smiled as the covers came off and the trays were put down. Large spoons were put in each, in a very efficient manner, and, all of a sudden, people were serving themselves. They knew how the system worked here. She waited until it was her turn. When she got up to the front, Dennis was there, waiting for her.

  “If nothing appeals,” he said, “or if you fancy anything else, just let me know.”

  She shook her head. “This is all good,” she said, and she served herself a decent portion, without getting too much. She wanted to make sure that she didn’t waste any food, and yet, at the same time, she could feel the hunger gnawing at her belly.

  With a full tray on her lap, she slowly wheeled out to where she’d placed her coffee and cutlery. She was careful not to spill anything, but it was dicey. She wasn’t even sure how people carried as much as they did. She had never had that skill or coordination to do something so economical when moving about, but they all seemed to handle it quite well.

  Crash.

  She twisted slowly to see one of the guys standing there with crutches, a tray, and a lost look on his face, as he stared down at what had been one of the yogurt parfaits, which was now smashed on the floor.

  “See? I told you, Dennis,” he said.

  “And I told you that you won’t be the first and you won’t be the last,” Dennis said. Coming around with a mop and bucket, he quickly cleaned up the splattered food, handed the guy another parfait, and said, “Try it with this one.”

  He looked at him and frowned. “It’s obvious I can’t do it.”

  “You didn’t do it,” Dennis corrected. “That doesn’t mean you can’t do it. This time, instead of worrying about where your feet are going, keep your eye on the tray.”

  And, with that, she held her breath and watched as he carefully carried the tray and another plate ever-so-slowly. It was a small tray, sure, but he carried it in one hand as he moved with one crutch forward.

  “Wow,” she said to herself. “I would have been too embarrassed to try again.”

  And yet not only had he tried but he’d succeeded. He sat down with a huge grin of triumph.

  Dennis cheered, adding, “See? Not so hard after all. It’s all about coordination.”

  “And who’s got coordination around this place?” Melissa muttered under her breath.

  As if Dennis had heard her, he smiled and said, “You’ll get there.”

  She wasn’t so sure about that, but she nodded, not ready to start an argument, when all she could see was the food in front of her. She quickly tucked in, enjoying every bite. By the time she was done, Dennis came around with a coffeepot and refilled her cup. “Haven’t you got anything better to do?” she asked.

  “Sure I do,” he said. “Lots of people here need a cup of coffee, but you’re one of them too.”

  “I don’t need looking after.”

  He stopped, gazed at her, smiled a gentle smile, and said, “I’m not so sure about that. It might be that you need more looking after than most.” And, on that strange note, he turned and walked away again.

  She stared after him, wondering what he meant, when a tray landed on the table beside her, and somebody asked, “Mind if I join you?”

  Not that she had a chance to say yes or no because it was Shane, and, as he sat down, she looked at all the food in front of him and whistled. “Wow! How often do you work out to get away with that amount of food?”

  “Not enough,” he said, laughing. “But Dennis is very good at what he does.”

  “Does he cook this?”

  “No,” Shane said, “not at all. Ilse is the head chef, the manager, the all-round kitchen helper. You’ll meet her eventually, and a good four or five guys and gals are in the kitchen with her most days as well. But Dennis runs the outside of the ki
tchen. He always makes sure there’s food for us all.”

  “He does seem to care,” she admitted.

  “And then some.”

  Shane had seen Melissa sitting there when he arrived in the big room for breakfast. As he loaded his plate, Dennis had a big smile for him, as usual. Shane motioned toward where Melissa sat. “Has she been here long?”

  Dennis nodded. “Had a bad night,” he said. “She was here really early.”

  “Maybe I’ll see how she is.” He picked up his tray and headed to where Melissa sat, asking if he could join her. He didn’t really give her a chance to say no. He wasn’t sure if she would give him the answer he wanted. It was always easier to take the choice away from somebody. He sat down, studying her. He could see the bags under her eyes and the stiffness in her body, but she seemed to be sitting better. “How was your night?”

  She gave an irritable shrug. “It was okay,” she said, “but it wasn’t great. Most nights aren’t great anymore.”

  “You look stiff.”

  “You think?” she said, then she shook her head. “Sorry. I’m not trying to be grumpy, but, like I said, I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep. I was in here early. I wasn’t sure what time I was allowed to come in but decided the lure of coffee was worth the trip.”

  “If the doors are open,” he said cheerfully, “you’re allowed in.”

  “Good,” she said. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just waiting for something to happen, waiting for some improvement.”

  He smiled. “I hear that a lot,” he said.

  She looked past his shoulder, a frown on her face.

  He didn’t turn around, knowing that she could be looking at any number of things. “Something wrong?” He forked a sausage and took a big bite.

  She shook her head, but her gaze was locked behind him. “An animal?” She looked at him, looked back, and then nodded. “A man is carrying something, but I don’t know what it is. It’s so big though.”

  “Is it huge, fluffy, with long ears?”

  She stared at him and asked, “Have you seen it before?” She pushed back from the table and leaned around him so she could get a better view.

  Shane turned, saw Stan with Hoppers, and called out, “Hey, Stan.”

  Stan took one look and headed toward him.

  “Who’s Stan?”

  He looked at her in surprise. “Did you get a tour of downstairs?”

  She shook her head. “No, I haven’t been downstairs yet.”

  “Well, that’s something we need to change,” he said with a bright smile.

  Stan walked over and looked at Melissa. “What’s this, a new arrival?”

  She smiled up at him and said, “Yes. I’ve only been here a couple days.”

  “Well, I haven’t seen you downstairs in my corner,” he said. “Do you mind if I sit?”

  Shane watched as her gaze was locked on the rabbit in his arms. Of course it was big enough to be five rabbits, but she said, “Please join us.”

  Shane didn’t care, even though he was still eating, and some people would be offended, but he was fine with it. Besides, he was almost done. He looked over at Melissa and grinned. “You’re staring with absolute fascination at the rabbit. Melissa, this is Stan. He’s the vet from the center downstairs. And this is Hoppers,” he said, “one of the rabbits he’s working on, supposedly to be a therapy animal, I think.”

  “Well, we could have picked a lighter-weight one,” Stan said chuckling, “but everybody has such an interesting reaction when they see him.”

  Melissa’s gaze flew up to look at Stan, then back down again. “My goodness,” she whispered, “he’s beautiful.”

  “He is, indeed.”

  “But why is he here with you?”

  “Well, he needs some extra care. He’s missing a leg,” he said. “He had an injury that we were working on, but then we had to amputate the leg because it just wouldn’t heal like it needed to. We’ve got a big pen for him downstairs, but I do like to bring him up and around to see people. It’s good for him to have the interaction, and it’s good for the people to have the interaction.”

  She reached out a hand, then hesitated. “May I?”

  Stan smiled. “Absolutely. Hoppers loves people.”

  She reached out a hand to let Hoppers sniff. His head lifted, and his nose went crazy. She reached out to gently stroke one of his long ears. “He’s so silky,” she whispered.

  “He is, indeed. He’s also a big baby,” Stan said with a chuckle. “But the baby I can handle.”

  “You’re lucky you work with animals so much.”

  “Well, it’s the field I went into,” he said with a smile. “We all have reasons for doing what we do. We just don’t always understand what it is until later.”

  She frowned at his words.

  He stood and said, “I’ll take Hoppers around to visit a few other people. Then I’ll take him back down and let him out into his pen.” And, with that, he walked away, carrying Hoppers in his arms.

  “It’s fascinating,” she said, turning to face Shane. “Dani told me that she had animals here, but I thought we were talking about horses, like Midnight.”

  “Midnight and a llama called Lovely and all kinds of other critters,” he said quietly. “Because it’s not just a place for people to recover, it’s a place for animals to recover too.”

  “But how could anyone give Hoppers away?” she asked, still watching Hoppers say hi to other patients.

  “Often they don’t. A lot of the animals stay here permanently. And that’s something that Dani plays a big role in. Her charitable contributions go a long way to keeping these animals safe.”

  “The things you don’t really know about a person,” she said. “I had no idea that Dani had created something so special.”

  “You probably haven’t kept too close an eye on her in the last few years, have you?”

  She shook her head. “No, I guess not. But I hadn’t realized that I’d gotten quite so far away from what was going on in her life. I mean, I knew about this place, but I didn’t really know—if you understand what I mean,” she said. “This is stunning. To think that she’s done all this makes me wonder what I did with my life.”

  “Ah,” Shane said. “No heading down that pathway. You went into service, and we all appreciate that.”

  She looked up, smiled, and said, “And yet now I don’t really feel like I have done anything.”

  “That’s because you’ve come from one world to the next. What did you do in the navy?”

  “Communications officer,” she said quietly. “I did it because I fell into it, and I was good at it. I’m not sure it’s something I would want to continue to do.”

  “Good enough,” he said. “Nobody said that you had to do the same thing all the time. Variety is often the spice of life. And sometimes, when we make a change, like you’ve done right now, some people cling to the old world because it’s familiar. For many others, they just want something completely different from what they used to do. Sometimes they don’t have a choice. Sometimes what they did is something they can no longer do, and they’re looking at a complete career change.”

  She nodded. “Well, I certainly could do some of what I was doing back then,” she said, “but I’m not sure it’s what I would want to do.”

  “Any idea what you would want to do?”

  She smiled and shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. At this point in time, just getting healthy and back on my feet seems like a big-enough issue.”

  “Not an issue,” he said, “but definitely something you have to commit to.”

  “I guess that’s what I meant,” she said. “It’s a big-enough commitment right now that it’s hard for me to look past it.”

  “Nobody said you had to,” he said comfortably.

  She smiled at him. “Are you always this amiable?”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Most of the time, yes,” he said. He studied her features, wondering what was his attractio
n to Melissa because he had a lot of patients around here. He could certainly have sat with anybody, but just something about being with Melissa intrigued him. Maybe it was the absolute brokenness of her body that attracted him. And, man, that said, he needed to rethink where he was mentally. But it wasn’t that her body was so broken as much as it was the struggle with her spirit. She was trying to get her body back together again and functioning the way it needed to. Her spirit was there; it was just hiding, and he wanted it to come out of hiding and do so much better than what it was right now. “Are you ready for today?”

  “Is today something I need to be ready for?” she asked.

  He smiled and said, “Yes, absolutely.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Well then, I guess the answer is no, I’m not ready.”

  “Too bad,” he said cheerfully, as he stood up. He checked his watch. “I’ll see you in fifteen minutes in the exercise room.” He turned and walked away. He lifted a hand to Dennis and called out, “See you at lunchtime.”

  “I’ll be here,” he said with a big chuckle.

  And that was the thing that Shane loved about this place—the people in it, the consistency of the work they did, and the growth and joy that they could bring to the patients’ faces. It didn’t come easy, and often it took a long time to happen, but, when it did, it was worth every moment he put into it.

  Chapter 5

  Melissa was a little trepidatious as she sat in her wheelchair at the entrance to the gym. Shane was there, marking something down on a tablet. He had the computer set up, charts off to the side, but the equipment around the room was intimidating. She’d seen it all before and knew the agony of using most of it.

  He didn’t look up but said, “I don’t bite. Come on in. Shut the door behind you too, please.”

  That seemed even more ominous. She closed the door and slowly wheeled toward him. “Did you create a plan for me?” she asked with a light voice.