Knock, knock... Read online

  And the cell phone call gave Shay a wonderful idea. She pulled hers out and held it to her ear. She walked over to the window as if to make a call. Bernice's energy wobbled as Shay approached.

  As if speaking into the phone, Shay asked in a quiet voice, "Bernice, are you there?"

  The glowing mass smiled as if lit from inside. With more of an impression than actual gestures, Shay heard Bernice's voice. I wanted to tell you something. She paused. But I've forgotten what it was.

  "Is this related to what you were trying to say last night?"

  Could an astral person pale any more? Shay watched in fascination as Bernice's form wavered before her.

  "Bernice?" she whispered. "What's the matter?"

  In a horrible repeat of the night before, Bernice froze. She stared at Shay and her mouth opened as if to speak, only no sounds were heard – physically or psychically.

  Shay leaned closer, afraid Bernice would disappear before she could get the information she needed. "Bernice, please. Tell me what's going on."

  Bernice seemed to make an effort to pull herself together; her form firmed and then wavered. I love them both, you know. Don't let them suffer more than necessary when you sort this out, my dear.

  "Sort what out? Bernice, I don't understand." Shay tried to keep her voice down but her hushed whisper resounded through the room.

  "Shay, are you okay?" Pappy called out behind her.

  Shay turned to smile reassuringly at Pappy.

  Concerned, he made as if to walk toward her.

  She waved him back. "I'm fine, Pappy." She held up her phone as if to say she was still in a conversation. He nodded and turned back to Gerard then stepped out into the hallway to talk to someone else.

  Relieved, Shay turned back to Bernice to find her...gone.

  She spun around.

  Bernice lay still, her skin even more gray and transparent than before. And the pale mist that had hung over her head was no longer there. Blue veins pulsed slowly up her hand and arm. Bernice had gone back into her body, but judging by the sounds of the raspy breathing she didn’t rest easy. Shay doubted Bernice would last the hour.

  "Bernice?" she whispered, leaning over the old woman. "Please, can't you tell me anything more?"

  There was no answer, only the rasping that sounded overly loud in the silence.

  Pappy walked over, his hand gently going to Shay's shoulder. "It's almost over."

  Gerard walked to the far side of Bernice's bed. He picked up Bernice's right hand, holding it gently. He whispered lovingly, "Go, my dear. Stay safe. Until we meet again."

  Indeed, as if she'd heard him, Bernice's chest rose once more, stretching to the extent her rib cage would allow and then sagged downward for the last time.

  Then there was only silence.

  Pappy choked, his hand patting the back of Bernice's faster than before. His shoulders hunched. He whispered so softly Shay almost missed his words. "Good-bye, my love. Good-bye."

  Shay had to wonder about a woman who kept these two men so in love with her that they'd never resented being alone for all these years.

  And they didn't resent it. They'd always felt blessed to spend time with her. Even though they were no longer lovers. Even now as she lay dying.

  Poor Bernice… And poor Shay. Tears welled at the corner of her eyes. She'd loved Bernice – a larger-than-life presence that no one could ignore. She'd been a lovely friend, a trusted confidante and an exceptional woman. Her legacy would live on for decades. Bernice had done such good works.

  A huge hole was opening in Shay's heart. She'd known this day would come. But she wasn't ready to let her surrogate mother go.

  She'd always been there for Shay. And Shay’s life would be so much emptier now.

  A commotion at the door had Shay turning around. Roman walked in, and his suit did not hide the beautiful animal beneath. He attracted her like no other, though she knew better than to respond.

  She deliberately turned her attention back to Bernice to give herself a few moments to compose herself. The attraction for Roman scared her even as he intrigued her. And Bernice, who’d been trying to set them up, would probably scold her for being afraid. Bernice would tell her wake up and live a life full of joy and experience. And she'd already said Roman was worth the chance.

  And if Shay was wrong about his wall, and what could be hidden behind it, he could be the other half of her heart. And she'd have missed her chance.

  Stefan had tried to explain energy and love to her. He had a leading theory about energy blends and music with color combinations. Not having been interested at the time, and having sworn off relationships, she hadn't delved any deeper, but damn if Roman didn't have her dredging her brain for little bits and pieces of Stefan's sage advice. And she’d come up empty. She'd have to ask Stefan later. And take his gentle ribbing as payment.

  "I'm glad you're here, Roman. Bernice has just passed on." Gerard spoke quietly from the other side of the bed.

  Shay stayed at Pappy's side, waiting for him to regain control of himself and finish his good-byes.

  "Hard to believe she's gone." Roman's voice was respectful, calm. She studied him under her lashes feeling the same familiar tug. He was awfully collected. As if he had more insight into the daily life and death in a hospital than she'd first suspected. But then he had been a cop.

  "She's been such a big part of my life." Gerard's voice trembled ever so slightly.

  "Let me know when you're ready to go home." Roman's dark chocolate voice slid down Shay's spine, seeming to linger on every bone before stroking lower.

  Christ. She closed her eyes and mentally zipped up her chakras to keep him from going deeper. He could be lethal.

  Thank God he didn't know what he was doing to her libido. Or did he? She snuck a glance at him, and found him staring directly at her.

  "Shay? How are you doing?" Once again, that smooth, caring voice stroked her blood.

  She swallowed hard, gave him a polite smile. "I'm fine. Thanks. It's Pappy who's just lost one of his best friends."

  Roman cocked his head, that intense gaze locking hers in place. "Wasn't Bernice a friend of yours too?"

  She smiled wryly. "Bernice was a force of her own. She was a very good friend. But she was one of Pappy's best friends." She sniffled. "And she will be dearly missed by all of us."

  Roman's deep golden brown eyes warmed, smiled. "Isn't that the truth? There aren't many Bernices left in the world."

  "There won't ever be another Bernice." Pappy spoke for the first time. He glanced over at Shay. "Give me a moment, will you?"

  Happy to give him the time he needed, Shay nodded and walked to the door, motioning the other two men to leave in front of her. "Let's give him privacy."

  Gerard shook his head, saying, "I'll stay with him. We both have things to say to her."

  With a last glance at Pappy, who nodded, Shay and Roman turned and walked out.

  "Hard to believe those two are good friends," Roman said, glancing back to the two men huddled together at Bernice's side.

  "Especially when they’ve loved the same woman for as long as they have."

  Roman gaze zipped back to her. "Sounds like you don't approve."

  "I'm not sure I do," she answered coolly. "Pappy has been at her side for decades, waiting and hoping for her to change her mind. Almost like a favorite puppy dog, hoping for a pat on his head."

  "And, from my understanding, she made it clear she wouldn't change her mind."

  "True enough." Shay turned to study the two older men and whispered, "It feels like the passing of an era right now."

  The two older men hugged each other while Roman and Shay looked on. Then, first the one, and then the other, bent to kiss Bernice's cheeks.

  Using the moment of silence, Shay switched her vision to search the room, on the off chance that Bernice was still there. It happened sometimes. That people stayed close to their bodies after death. Close to what they knew. She searched carefully. And there wa
s no sign of Bernice – in any form.

  "What are you looking for?" Roman asked, his voice reeking with curiosity.

  She started. "I don't know, just looking at the private rooms." God, that was lame. She raised an eyebrow at him.

  A smile played at the corner of his mouth. His gaze, direct and determined, held hers. "And now that we have a few moments of privacy, I have another question for you."

  "Oh." Shay stared are him, waiting.

  That gaze, that could be so warm and caring, deepened to one that was dark and penetrating. "Why are you afraid of me?"

  Oh shit.

  ***

  Roman walked into his loft drained. The evening at the hospital had been emotionally charged with Bernice's passing. Gerard and Charles had loved that woman, with a deep abiding love that Roman had never dreamed existed.

  Grateful for this piece of calm and serenity within the city, Roman walked out onto his large waterfront deck and breathed deeply of the fresh evening air.

  He'd just come home from dropping off his grandfather. He'd hated to leave him alone, but the older man insisted he wanted to grieve on his own. In truth, Roman also wanted the time to think. To think about Shay.

  She'd been so caring, so loving with her grandfather. He respected that. Actually he loved that about her. The work she did, the people she chose to help. He had known about that, and who she was, before they met. But he hadn't known her – not like this. In fact, he was liking everything he was learning.

  Needing the connection, Roman walked into his studio and stared at the latest sketch. He glanced at an earlier one on the wall. Not good enough for showing, but something about the colors made the hanging one special. Like many of the early pictures, he had been compelled to add pale blue in the picture. Like gentle smoke.

  He'd fought against adding it, but it seemed the pictures weren’t complete until he'd added a blue swirl. For that reason, he often incorporated the blue into the flowing design of the draping material or gown.

  Then about a year ago, that insistence had eased, the blue was still there, but it was no longer as prominent.

  For a long time he'd wondered about that compulsion to add blue, then decided it had to be part of his artistic growth. As he looked at his current picture, he realized that there was a thin blue film over the figure in the painting, like the brush had whispered a faint blush of blue. It created only the slightest of shimmers.

  Done in midnight black, Shay's long, elegant back faced him with her hair drifting across the canvas. The picture stopped at the chin line. His own preference. He wanted to do a full body with her beautiful facial features but so far had resisted. Something had stopped him. He didn't know what or why. While the pictures remained only of her form, then he could fool himself to believe she was only his model.

  If he did break down and add her face – something he knew he couldn't do yet – he'd be telling the world who she was…and how important she was to him. By creating her full image for all eternity, he would be acknowledging Shay was his muse.

  And that would change things.

  His muse was a living, breathing thing to him. A relationship he lived with daily.

  And if he acknowledged she was his muse, he'd be acknowledging that she was not only necessary in his world but she was his passion.

  He swallowed hard. Could that be?

  And if she was his passion...it was a short hop to considering...acknowledging he wanted her to become his partner, his other half...his one true love.

  Still that was a step he hadn’t taken. Yet.

  ***

  The next morning on the other side of town…

  Why was his neighbor coming down his walk? David Cummings lowered the gas can nozzle into the small tank of his lawnmower when Melanie Sergeant called out his name. She tugged her poodle toward him.

  David swore under his breath. His wife often teased him that he mowed his lawn every Sunday morning from April to October, like clockwork, as particular about his lawn as the teeth of the patients in his dental practice.

  And that meant his neighbors knew where and when to find him. Most of the time that was fine.

  Just not today. Today was special. And he didn't have time to chitchat. He hoped Melanie wasn’t selling more chocolate bars for the school she taught at. He just didn't have time today.

  He planned to take Diane to brunch and surprise her with a cruise to Scotland. Five kids and she deserved it. Hell, he deserved it, too. She'd likely cry when she found out. Hell, he might too. Thirty-five years together and still going strong. Damn he was a lucky man

  And he could survive a chat with his neighbor for a few minutes.

  "’Morning, Melanie. How are you doing this beautiful weekend?"

  As Melanie walked closer, he realized there was something different about her. She looked normal, but… His throat tightened and instinctively he wanted to back away from her. He swallowed hard and resisted. That was foolish. He pasted a smile on his face.

  "I'm doing great. It's a lovely day, isn't it?" She gave him a bright smile then a frown appeared on her forehead, and her eyes darkened.

  Like really dark.

  “Are you okay?” He stepped toward her, and as he did, her eyes sharpened, and went almost black. That was wrong.

  He forced himself closer, if she needed help… He wasn’t a physician, but he knew enough to give basic CPR. Though his skin was creeping, and his head...

  What was wrong with his head?

  He blinked. Then blinked again. What was wrong with her eyes?

  The light was off. Surely that must be this sudden headache. And the pain stabbing through his chest. Stabbing and stabbing. He could hardly breathe. He opened his mouth to speak, but the only sound that came out of his mouth was a name.

  “Angela.”

  His wife. The love of his life. Angela. He held onto the thought and the image of her as the pain accelerated. He dropped to his knees, then slid sideways to the grass. Damn. Please let this not be a heart attack. The doctors had warned him, but…

  Melanie was leaning over him, a look of horror on her face. And her eyes, wide, brown… normal again. How? What?

  Then she was screaming and running with her dog to the house, and he was staring at the sky. The pain lower now. In his chest. And he knew he was going to die and would not make it to Scotland.

  Suddenly Angela was bending over him, tears running down her beloved face. “Hang on, David, don’t you dare die. Damn it, I love you. I need you.”

  He opened his mouth. It hurt to breathe, much less talk. But if he didn’t say it now... “Love you.” he choked out. His chin trembled as he fought against the pain, as if it were a live thing inside him—not like any death that he’d ever imagined—and he managed one smile and one more word. “Yes.”

  Then the pain took him and he cried out. She squeezed his hand and cried out, “David I love you.”

  I love you back.

  And then the pain stopped, and there was nothing.

  Chapter 4

  Monday morning…

  Monday morning dawned bright and clear. But Shay was still tired and confused and chose to take refuge from the crazy weekend by checking out the large animal sanctuary, Exotic Landscape. This was one of her pet projects funded by her foundation. These animals, all kinds and sizes, needed help…and Shay was a sucker for kids and animals. Interestingly enough, Tabitha, who ran the operation, was like Shay...psychic.

  Shay'd always loved going there, but this last year she'd damned near lived there. It was a place she could rest, drop her barriers and relax.

  And there was another reason to go to the sanctuary – she could use the healing calm for herself right now. And it was Shay's way to get her animal fix. Something she’d needed since Morris's disappearance a year ago.

  The animals, of course, required a whole different level and kind of energy care. They didn't hide, manipulate or deceive. Each animal had a happiness or health level that was easy to see. Shay
always walked through to make sure they were doing okay. Of course, Tabitha did that regularly. And her caring as the animals thrived here.

  Tabitha worked Tuesday to Saturday. Once the two women, of similar age, found each other, and discovered what the other had been hiding from the world, they had become fast friends.

  After all, they could communicate on the same level.

  They couldn't hide anything from the other – for that same reason. It had taken years to solidify the trust, but once they'd found a comfort level, the relationship gave them immeasurable peace.