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Page 4
“In what way?”
“You’ve been a big part of my life for a long time now.”
“True,” he said, “and, for that, I am very sorry.”
“I’m not,” she said, with the gentlest of smiles.
“Because you didn’t mind having somebody to look after or because it gave you a purpose?”
His insight had her staring at him. “I don’t know,” she said. “When you’re hurting, you run away and hide. But it’s hard to know when that hurt has stopped and when you’re actually okay, versus being stuck and still hiding.”
“That’s why I was asking if you saw yourself leaving.”
“Hmm,” she said. “Maybe. But I don’t know where I would go. This has been my home for many years now.”
“And it’s still a place to come back to,” he said. “It’s so beautiful, and I’ll always have great memories of it.”
“But you’re leaving, so it won’t be the same,” she said.
He looked at her, then hesitated and said, “Leia, come with me.”
She stared at him in surprise.
“Don’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it,” he said, an awkwardness evident in his voice.
She studied him for a long moment. “Depending on what you mean,” she said, “I’ve often wondered about leaving, but I always had this immediate negative response.”
Nodding, he stared out at the world around them. “Right,” he said. “I guess I was hoping for a little more than that.” He got up slowly, wincing as he did so.
“You’re not ready to leave,” she said, jumping to her feet.
“Maybe not,” he said, “but there isn’t exactly time right now.”
“Have you got all your memories back?”
“No,” he said. “I’m not sure on some things yet. That’s another reason to connect with my team, to see how many holes they can fill in.”
“Do you remember your team?”
“Some of them,” he said, frowning. “And some of it is still a blank.”
“Are you sure it’s safe to contact them?”
“I don’t know who else I’d contact,” he said. “They are men I would trust with my life.”
“Well, that’s what you’d be trusting them with,” she said gently. “If you think about it, that’s exactly what you’d be doing.”
“Only if they had something to do with that plane crash. Which I don’t even know for sure was sabotage.”
“True.” She nodded. Hopping from the rock, she grabbed her dress and went to put it over her swimsuit.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t hide all that beauty,” he said. His gaze was intense, and she felt herself flushing hot and cold. An attraction had been growing between them, but she hadn’t thought he’d even known what it was. She’d thought he hadn’t been well enough to know, but now he was like an animal in his prime, gaining strength every day, so she wasn’t surprised that this would rear its head. She nodded with a smile and said, “I have often been without my dress.”
“I’m not sure about that,” he said. “It seems that you wear it almost as a uniform.”
She was unoffended at his directness. “It’s not so much a uniform as a defense system.”
Immediately he frowned. “Did somebody hurt you?” His voice was harsh, and he was clearly agitated.
“Well, I was definitely hurt, but, if you mean attacked or raped, the answer is no.”
“Good,” he said, calmer already. “I would want that man’s name and would make sure that he paid.”
She looked at him in surprise. “Would you do that?”
He frowned at her response. “Absolutely. I recognize the value of an angel, even if someone else doesn’t.”
Chapter 4
Bullard meant every word. The last thing he would allow in this world were people who tried to damage the angels, and abusing a woman was not something Bullard could tolerate. He may not have full recollection of his history or who he was even now, but he knew who he was on the inside. He studied Leia, knowing she had secrets that he had yet to delve into. He didn’t want to push, but, now that he felt better, her history and everything else about her was on his mind. Matter of fact, she was constantly on his mind, not to mention under his skin and in his heart. He didn’t have a clue who and what she was outside of this place, but he knew he needed to find out. “Will you ever tell me what’s going on in your world?”
“Maybe,” she said gently. “But it’s hardly today’s issue.”
“That depends on whether whoever is out there watching us is a part of it.”
“No,” she said, with a shake of her head. “Definitely not.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“I think you like to have answers with the Ts crossed and the Is dotted,” she murmured.
He looked at her, nodded. “You know what? I think you’re probably right about that. But is that wrong?”
“No,” she said, “but justice doesn’t always come with the answers we want, does it?”
Again that question in her statement made him wonder about her history. “May I come up to your place?”
She looked at him in surprise. “If you mean my cabin, yes, of course. That’s where I cook, so, if you want, we could have dinner up there tonight.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Is that like a date?”
She chuckled. “You’d have to be pretty desperate to call that a date.”
“Hey, special times,” he said, looking around him. “Many people would pay millions of dollars to come to a place like this and to enjoy everything all this has to offer.”
“Maybe,” she said, “but that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.”
Again, an interesting statement from her. He just nodded and smiled.
“Besides, we don’t want millions of people coming here,” she said. “I’m here for the peace and quiet.”
“Peace and quiet was what you came for,” he said, “but you stayed because it was easy.” She looked at him in surprise, but he gave her a knowing nod. “Believe me. As I slowly regain everything in my mind, I understand completely.”
“Maybe,” she said, “but until you walk a mile …”
“I get it, and you’re entitled to have privacy.”
“Glad to hear you say that,” she said, “because I was getting the feeling you’ll be up in my business, trying to get answers all the time.” He gave her that lopsided grin, and she continued, “I can’t imagine anybody cares enough about me after all this time to be hiding in the bushes.”
“You’re a delightful person, Leia. You’re a beautiful woman in her prime, so I’m sure many men would like to have you walk beside them.”
“If you really mean have sex with me,” she said candidly, “I’ve had a few offers, but nothing I cared to respond to.”
He’d stared at her in surprise. “Is there a reason why not?”
“Of course there is,” she said but refused further comment.
He frowned at that because it was just one more in a series of mysteries, and he didn’t need that. He was looking for answers. Something solid that would make him feel like they were getting somewhere. But she also wouldn’t let him get away with that. She was a very private woman in many ways. Yet open in others. She was also very skilled, yet kept herself isolated. He couldn’t understand the contrast and wondered again what had happened to her.
“Come up to my place when you feel better,” she said. And, with that, she stepped away from the water and headed to her cabin.
He watched her go, and, seeing the gentle sway of her hips, he realized he was obviously healing because his whole body responded to every ounce of her. She was sleek, smooth, and honey-toned from so much sun, not to mention gorgeous inside and out, plus incredibly kind and generous. She had been the saving grace in the craziness of his world. He owed her so much, yet knew she would be offended if he even brought up repaying her. H
ell, he probably would be too, if their situations were reversed.
At the same time, he couldn’t quite let go of the pain at the prospect of leaving her. He sat once more on the rock ledge around the ponds. That brought on his tentative questions about her interest in leaving. Not that she had given a very solid answer, but still it was something. He just couldn’t imagine not having her around him. He’d been here for what seemed like forever now, but he understood it was only a matter of months. That thought turned his mind back to wondering what the hell had happened in his world and who would know. To try and get answers, she said she could get him a cell phone. Well, he needed that, and he needed it now.
The longer Bullard sat here thinking about it, the more irritated he got because he wanted a cell phone in his hands right this instant. But island life didn’t work that way. It was very much a case of tomorrow—or whenever even. Nobody seemed to give a crap about timing or who would need something today, not next week. He couldn’t imagine how long it had taken Leia to adjust to this world, but she had.
He also understood that she was the one who had stitched his head and elsewhere, but he didn’t know what else she might have done. She had looked after him like a baby for weeks. He felt no shame in that because he’d been terribly injured. And, at the same time, he had looked after many a person in the same way. But now that he was healthier, he felt a restlessness taking over. He gazed about, wondering at such a gorgeous location.
In the western world, this would have been eaten up by a millionaire as a place of their own, locked down so nobody could come in and enjoy it. But, if it were a public park, he could just imagine how badly it would be abused by people who wouldn’t take proper care of it. That mindless devastation of Mother Nature also hurt him. Somewhere along the line, he’d apparently picked up quite a critical view of the world around him. It might be justified, or maybe not, but it’s the one he carried, so he could only assume that enough had been going on in his world to give him that kind of an attitude. As soon as he thought about that, more memories slipped into his mind.
He sat here for a long moment as he took a trip down memory lane, revisiting old missions, even throughout the United States. With friends. Some names were still elusive, as were the people behind them. He got a sense of Levi and knew that he was important, but Bullard didn’t understand quite how or why he couldn’t pick up the names of different members of his team. He remembered Ryland and Kano and Garret and Cain. Bullard frowned as he thought about them, wishing the entire set of memories would slide back.
At the moment, those memories were stuck in limbo, as if looking for that extra little prod to open them up. It was frustrating in many ways, but Bullard had come a long way since he’d first started this recall of his memories, so it was hard to imagine that it would stop now. He just didn’t want to even be concerned about it. And yet he was concerned because that’s just the way life worked. At the same time he had to let his body—and his mind—heal a little more.
He still had time before dinner, so he put himself through a punishing set of push-ups and sit-ups, trying to get his muscles to respond the way they needed to. He knew he’d always been in tip-top physical form and also knew that he was still a ways away from that.
Closing his eyes, he let his body slide into a series of moves that were instinctive and likely as old as he was. It was a mixture, a combination of martial arts, yoga, and tai chi; yet he immediately knew it was toning his body and toning his mind, as he prepared for his return to the world. He’d been gone just long enough that, if his accident had been no accident, some people would be very unhappy to see him again.
He also knew others would be completely overwhelmed because he had survived. As he had that thought, he suddenly realized with joy that Ice would be one of them. Ice and Levi. Then there was Izzie. He frowned for a moment, wondering at the name, until Isabella’s face came into his mind, and he realized it was his niece. He smiled at the thought. Cranky, cantankerous, difficult Izzie.
And yet she was the only blood relative in his life. Blachard was a half brother, as they shared a father, and Bullard had always considered Izzie family. He gave a happy sigh at the memory and the joy at having her firmly back in his mind. Now that he could let her know he was okay, and he assumed the team would have contacted her about the accident. But then again, if his flight had been sabotaged, had his team been targeted too? Had they been attacked?
Had somebody gone after everyone? He had run a big successful security-related business that had interfered in takeovers, coups, high-level crime, and espionage. His company was an international asset that had made a lot of enemies. He always knew there was a chance of somebody coming back after him; it was a dangerous life that way. But he’d hoped that he would have had some hint as to what was going on before now.
Just then he heard Leia call out that dinner was ready. He looked up, lifted a hand, and carefully moved from the river toward her place. He was interested to see just what a meal at her place meant. Somehow he had to get her to relax enough around him to make some progress in getting to know her. Not that she was nervous, just that she wasn’t used to sharing her island.
She’d spent so many years hidden away here that either she had become somebody who preferred her own space with her own silence and didn’t really know how to share herself anymore, or she was worried that he would say or do something that could set off feelings that she didn’t want to deal with. All in all, it was a very strange way to wake up to the world. And wake up was exactly what he had done. Every moment, every hour, more and more memories flooded back, and he couldn’t wait to fill in the rest of the holes.
Chapter 5
Several days later Leia realized just how strong Bullard really was getting, as she looked up at him, using a low-lying branch as a pull-up bar. Slow and steady, he’d been working at it every day. He wasn’t yet in what she envisioned as his top form, but he was about 80 percent there. And she knew that the probing questions and pushing wouldn’t stop. Now that he was almost free and he felt it physically, he was pushing himself hard. All he could talk about at this point was getting back to the world he had left behind and picking up the pieces of a life that she could only imagine.
He stepped out into the water after his push-ups and then went back at it again, jumping up lightly. He stretched and twisted in the early morning sun, as she came down with a cup of coffee for him. He looked up, then smiled. “I can’t believe how good I feel.”
“That’s great,” she said, trying hard to insert a note of joviality into her voice. But it was hard because, as soon as he felt good enough, he’d be gone, and she wasn’t ready for that. The minute that happened, she knew this place—that was home to her—would feel incredibly lonely, and she wasn’t sure how she would handle it. Of course she had been through enough in her life to know that she could handle him leaving; she didn’t get a choice after all. But, at the same time, it was something she really wasn’t looking forward to. Shaking off her sadness, she asked, “Ready for coffee?”
“I am,” he replied. Accepting the cup from her hand, he turned to look around and said, “I’ll really miss this place.”
She nodded but didn’t say anything. What could she say? “When are you leaving?” The words tumbled out without her getting a chance to control them.
He turned to look back at her. “Did you get me a cell phone?”
“No, but I’ve asked for one though. They’re heading to the mainland today, so, with any luck, maybe tonight.”
He nodded slowly. “Does anything here happen fast?”
Her eyes twinkled at that. “Island living,” she said, “so the answer is no.”
“It really is an island life, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “It’s a special way to live.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever really experienced it before,” he said, marveling at it. “I feel I’ve been on that go, go, go life since forever.”
“Exactly,” she said. “
And, once you have, it’s pretty hard to let go of.”
“That brings us back to my question. What will you do?”
“Nothing here has changed for me,” she said. “You’ll leave and go back to the world you know, and I’ll be here, living my life, like I always do,” she said simply.
“Won’t you be lonely?”
“Meaning that I won’t survive without you around?” she said, her grin widening.
He laughed. “Okay, I guess that’s kind of foolish of me, isn’t it? But you’ve become a major part of my world for the last few months. It will feel very strange to just leave you behind.”
“Well, I don’t imagine there’s a place for me in your world,” she said. “It doesn’t sound like you were short on any kind of attention. Besides, for all you know, you have a wife and four kids at home.” She had said it lightly, but her gaze searched his face.
He shook his head. “No. None of that for me and my memories are filling in rapidly.”
She was happy for him because it was hard to imagine what life would be like if you were constantly missing a big chunk of who you were.
“No wife,” he said easily. “Although I’m still not sure about a couple people. They—it’s just that I don’t really have explanations for how much in my life they are, how it all fits.”
“Is that Ice?”
He nodded. “She’s married to a good friend of mine,” he said.
Leia stared at him in surprise. “Oh.”
He nodded. “See? So I’m not sure what that’s all about.”
“It’ll fill in slowly. Just let it happen in its own time,” she urged. Inside, her own heart was lightening. Maybe he was pining for someone after all. It didn’t seem possible, considering how big and strong and virile this man was. But still, she was happy to know that no family waited for him. That didn’t sound quite right because, of course, she wanted to know that he was happy and surrounded by people who loved him. But that was a long way from having a partner, staring at the door, wondering if he’d ever come home again.