Eyes to the Soul Read online

  Just because she was over one relationship didn’t mean she wanted to dive into another one. She wasn’t sure Stefan would give her a choice.

  Feeling confused, she got up and walked into her bathroom. A shower might help. The hot water sluiced down her back in waves of comforting warmth. She stood, eyes closed, letting it pour over her. Somehow, from somewhere deep inside that she hadn’t even known was there, tears started to pour.

  And pour. She didn’t make a sound, but the pain, the frustration, the fear. God, the crippling fear… everything she’d stuffed down oozed outward through her tears as she let the last of all she’d been holding onto slip from where she’d been keeping it all hidden. As soon as that older fear had drained, the newer fear and turmoil of the last few days rose along with the grief for her friends and their families. The bottleneck burst and suddenly she was crouched at the base of the tub, the water pounding on her spine as she sobbed.

  She heard a voice a long way away say, “Easy, Celina, take it easy.”

  The bathtub’s glass sliding door opened, letting a draft of cool air inside. She didn’t have to ask who it was. Stefan’s presence was warm and easily identifiable. This man cared on a level she wasn’t sure she’d ever known before. But she wanted to.

  And there was nothing confining about it.

  The water taps squeaked in front of her and the hot stream pounding down slowed to a trickle, then stopped. Still a few more sobs came out. A towel was wrapped around her slim frame and she was picked up, still curled up into a ball.

  She almost said something but was caught up by the rapt feeling of being carried. She hadn’t been looking for a relationship. She wasn’t now either. But in spite of that it looked like one was possibly waiting for her. If she was willing to take that step.

  Quietly acquiescent, she waited, wondering what he’d do next.

  *

  Stefan carried Celina into her bedroom, wondering at the sensations rolling through him. When she’d stayed in the bathroom for as long as she had he’d dropped his own defenses and let himself open up to her energy to see if she was okay. As her emotions rolled through him, he realized how overwhelmed she was. Some of it was easy to understand and some was not. He could feel the aged quality to many of them, and as he knew only the barest of her history he couldn’t place much of it.

  As long as she was dealing with them one way or another he was good with that. Everyone had a history, including him, and whether he remembered all of his or wanted to even explore that part of himself, that was his choice. Just as she had to make her choices.

  Right now the vibes were all about letting go. That was hard on anybody, but she’d be so much better for it. She just needed to know that she wasn’t alone.

  She’d left her bedding turned back so he set her down in the middle, efficiently stripped off the wet towel and wrapped the bedding around her as she sat waiting. With the same towel he gently dried her hair. Spying a brush on her night table, he shifted to sit behind her, picked up the brush, and gently stroked her wet hair.

  She never moved. Never said a word.

  But the tears had stopped. Her emotions had calmed and she was relaxed, at peace. The letting go would allow her to see more clearly.

  “You’re very good at this,” she whispered.

  “Am I?” He smiled. “That’s good. I can’t remember the last time I might have brushed a woman’s hair.” It wasn’t a natural thing for him to do. But in this case she’d been like a child and in need of care.

  That he could do.

  “I didn’t mean the hair thing as much as the looking after me.” Her voice was low but peaceful.

  “We all need looking after sometimes.”

  “Not you,” she said with surprising force. “I can’t see you ever needing to be looked after.”

  He paused, the hairbrush held midair, and thought about the many times recently where his friends had come into the ethers to find him or sat watching over his body while he’d been gone, or joined him at the children’s hospital where he couldn’t do what needed to be done alone. “You’d be wrong. Especially lately. There have been too many times where I did need exactly that.”

  She twisted around enough so she could stare toward him, making him wonder once again at what she really saw, and said in a gentle voice, “Tell me.”

  Not wanting to open himself up meant not giving her what she needed, and that wasn’t acceptable. He thought about the various incidences and compromised by explaining about one of the times where he’d exhausted himself to the point of having to be hospitalized by splitting his energy in too many directions to keep track of many different events at one time.

  She was silent for a long moment. “You can do that?”

  “Yes. And much more.”

  “Like?”

  “Like leave my body at will, or go to a place with my energetic body so I’m still in residence but can get the information I need anyway. It’s not as clear and I can’t do much to help at the other end, but it works well enough most of the time.”

  She sat quietly, listening once again with her back turned his way, not commenting. So he pushed the envelope of acceptance a little. “And I can communicate telepathically with most people.”

  That did it. She stiffened and turned around again, pinning him in place with that fierce blind gaze. He waited.

  “I thought that was just fantasy.”

  “No. Dr. Maddy and I speak that way a lot. I work with many people capable of doing that.”

  “Ah, so you speak telepathically with others that have that same skill.” She tilted her head toward the ceiling. “That almost makes sense with Dr. Maddy. While I was there with both of you there was a low-key hum sometimes, but not all the time. But it was always when no one was speaking. I thought because of the silence I could hear it more clearly.” She paused, her head tilting. “That’s what was actually happening, wasn’t it?”

  He nodded in surprise. “Yes. I had no idea there was an audible noise when I do that. Interesting.”

  “I think only a person with highly developed hearing would be able to tell the difference,” she said. “It must be an interesting way to talk.”

  “It is, and it’s definitely something you could learn.”

  “Me?” She gave a startled laugh and quick shake of her head. “No way.”

  He smiled at the universal answer he received from every other person he’d said that to. “Actually, you more than most. You already have an intuitive sense, psychic abilities, and are open to the concept.”

  “Yeah, but there is already someone in my head, remember? It’s too crowded for more.”

  As a conversation killer, that was a good one and also brought up a valid point. “I wonder if he’s telepathic and communicating that way with you but is not actually located in your head.”

  “I’d prefer if he was telepathic,” she said, her voice thoughtful. “And yes, if he is, then I’m already communicating with him but I really don’t like the concept of him being located in my head.”

  “If he was telepathic he wouldn’t need to be. He could be anywhere depending on his abilities. Why you is the big question, and why the blockage would be the next big one.”

  “Yeah. See, now that’s heading into the sci-fi arena again,” she muttered.

  “Much of life is science fiction until you understand how it works.” He continued to run the brush in long slow strokes through her rich, black hair. He’d met a lot of women, blondes and brunettes with every shade imaginable, but he’d not met many with jet-black hair.

  Still damp, the strands were silky beneath his fingers. A wave of possessiveness surged through him. He wanted to do so much more than this but knew she wasn’t ready. As she sat so perfectly comfortable nude and barely concealed by the bedding, he knew he’d have to stop soon or he wouldn’t be able to control himself.

  She sighed, stretching her back as the bedding dropped away, giving him a perfect view of the top of her rounded c
heeks and the dimple where they joined. Slim, with her ribs and spine easily visible under her soft skin. She had an odd pattern of freckles on her left side. He smiled as his gaze caught the slightest happy face pattern amongst them. With one hand he gently traced the smile part of the face. “Did you know you have a happy face of freckles here?”

  She laughed lightly. “I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me.”

  Unable to stop himself, he leaned over and dropped a light kiss on the nose of the happy face. Then as if nothing had happened he resumed brushing her hair. She hadn’t moved, relaxed, or frozen. He’d take that as a good sign.

  *

  Jacob wandered the room. At first he’d been able to travel throughout the hospital, but he had never met another soul like himself. If he’d had lonely times in his life before, now it was almost impossible. He’d tried to call Lissa several times, in fact. But she hadn’t returned.

  He wanted to see Celina. Tell her whatever it was that was so important. But he couldn’t figure out how. He thought he’d seen her before, at her apartment, sleeping, playing, but didn’t know how he’d done that. If he’d done that. Maybe he’d only dreamed it. He’d tried so hard to repeat it and hadn’t been able to. The longer he stayed here the harder any movement became. Depressed, he sat on the window ledge and waited.

  Even a return visit from Lissa would help. Maybe then she’d give him a few more tips on how to survive this existence.

  Or find a way to end it.

  Chapter 18

  Celina felt the tingles move all over her body. From his kiss on her shoulder? Or had it been from something else? She could track the movement of the tingling as it moved up and down her back. Odd, and yet soothing in a way. She closed her eyes, following the sensation, then realized it was from his hands as he brushed her hair. “Wow. There is an actual energy pathway as you brush my hair. I can feel it run down my back and then back up again.”

  The brushing stopped for a moment then continued. “Like I said, you have a natural instinct for this.”

  “Ha,” she snorted. “Feeling a bit of tingling is a lot different than speaking with someone through my mind.”

  “Which is something you already do.”

  Her light mood deflated. “Yes, but only with him.”

  “Do you want to try it with me?”

  She tilted her head and considered it. “I don’t think it will work.”

  Instantly a voice inside her head said, Are you sure? I’m talking to you now. You can hear me as I can hear your mind buzzing over the newness of this.

  She gasped, spinning around to look at him. “Oh my God. That was you, wasn’t it?”

  He smiled at her and answered in her head, Yes.

  Her gaze widened as she contemplated the significance of that. “So my stalker guy might not be in my head!”

  “He might not be,” Stefan said out loud.

  For some reason that made her feel so much better. She laughed. “That’s marvelous. A telepathic asshole is so much better than a guy living in there.” She shook her head, the strands of hair pulling out of his hands. “Doesn’t that sound bizarre? If anyone heard us…”

  “They wouldn’t understand,” he finished for her. “And that is too bad, because everyone is capable of so much more than they are currently doing.”

  She nodded. “That makes sense. How can I learn to do what you did?”

  “You mean speak telepathically? That’s easy. Just do it.”

  At her disgruntled expression he smiled. “I made it easier on you by speaking to you first. That gave you a pathway to follow back to me.”

  She closed her eyes. Stefan? Can you hear me?

  Nothing.

  She opened her eyes and said, “Nothing.”

  “Try and try again. It might not happen on the first attempt but it will happen.” He smiled. “Just follow my voice home.”

  She laughed. “You make it sound so easy.”

  Then a chill settled on her skin. She gasped. “He’s here.”

  “I’m going to try to find out what I can. Don’t mention my presence to him,” he warned before he went silent. She turned around on the bed, dragging the covers up and over her shoulders. She stared in Stefan’s direction. She reached out to find his arm, still holding her hairbrush, was halfway up in the air. He’d frozen in place. She didn’t understand what he was doing. Unable to help herself, she reached out and lowered his hand.

  What are you doing?

  She froze at the cruel voice in her head, then said cautiously, “I’m doing nothing.”

  Someone else has been here. Someone I don’t think I like.

  What do you mean there’s been someone here? she asked, aiming for shocked puzzlement. Her mind spun with all the information that Stefan had told her. Was this man talking telepathically to her?

  Someone has been here. Inside your head.

  What? she exclaimed. What are you talking about? Why would anyone be in there?

  Don’t be a fool, he said, his tone turning ugly, snide. I’m in here. And now someone else has been as well.

  She shook her head, working hard on the helplessness. I thought you were just talking to me in some kind of telepathic way – not that you were in my head. She took a deep breath. How can that be?

  And the pain started. Do not take me for a fool.

  I’m not, she cried, her hands going to clasp either side of her head. Stop. I haven’t done anything.

  You let someone in here! he roared.

  How could I? If you are there then you would have seen them, she said. You’re making me crazy.

  Maybe you are crazy. He paused. Maybe you’re not just stupid and weak but also crazy.

  I’m not, she snapped defiantly. She had no idea what was going on but she wouldn’t listen to this. I didn’t let anyone else inside my head. And if there had been someone there then you would have seen them. I think you are the crazy one, she scoffed. Instantly she knew that he’d punish her for that.

  And punish her he did.

  The heat inside her head had her crying out. Stop it.

  Why should I? I can do whatever I want.

  Then leave, she cried. Leave me alone.

  There was heavy silence, then he said in a thick voice, And that’s the one thing I can’t do.

  And just like that he disappeared.

  *

  Stefan watched as this silvery-black energy popped out of the blockage and vibrated at a frequency he’d never seen before, bits and pieces of energy flaring the longer it was there, and just like that it winked out. Stefan checked her mind out to make sure there were no remnants of the foreign energy there, and deciding she was safe for the moment, he slid free and went into the base of her spine with his mind. He understood what Dr. Maddy had said she’d seen but he wanted to see it for himself.

  Mentally he slipped upward into Celina’s neck and moved up her energetic system to her head. Inside her skull he observed the bone and brain matter. There didn’t appear to be anything out of the ordinary. Then again, he wasn’t a doctor. He shifted to peer into the front of her facial construction, fascinated at the energy surrounding her eyes. There really was something odd there. Not organically. Energetically. Some energy from the surgeon. There was also energy from a stranger that had zoomed in on that location for some reason. He studied it closely to be sure, but knew there was no way that this was Celina’s energy.

  But what he really couldn’t understand was that Celina’s energy held the other one almost in an embrace. She had allowed this energy to be here. Had wanted it even.

  And he just didn’t see how that could be.

  *

  “Eric, how are you feeling today?”

  The same doctor as always listened to his chest and his back. The same patter rumbled over his head. He sank farther into his bed, trying to ignore the looks the doctor exchanged with his mother.

  They weren’t listening to anything he said. They never did. He was just a kid. He didn’
t know anything. Monsters didn’t exist. You’re just having bad dreams. A side effect of the drugs. Well, if the drugs brought out the monsters, then why would they give the drugs to little kids? Everyone knew monsters were bad.

  He stared out at the doorway, wondering if he could jump up and run away. That’s what the monster kept telling him to do. He wanted to. Anything to make that nasty voice in his head stop. He knew it was the bone they’d used to rebuild his knee but he didn’t care. He wanted it out. Big fat tears rolled down his cheek, but he wouldn’t cry. The monster loved fear.

  I want you to be afraid. Then you’ll do everything I tell you to do, the monster had said.

  And he would do anything if it would make this monster go away. Even jump out that window beside him. He just needed a time when his mom wasn’t looking. That would stop the hateful monster.

  That would make him a hero. This monster couldn’t hurt anyone anymore after that.

  *

  The moments of clarity were getting stronger and stronger. He flexed his virtual muscles, wishing he had enough to be solid in one place instead of spread out so thin that he was many people. But considering what he’d achieved, it was damn fine indeed. Especially now that he’d figured out how to stop the problem of deteriorating further.

  He needed to cut off the flow at the sources. That way he figured he could easily control the energy he currently had and become stronger as he managed to focus more. But that main artery had to be destroyed. But how? He mulled the problem over. He had done the impossible already, so this should be a piece of cake.

  He’d put his impressive brain to it.

  If he had one.

  At that reminder he howled and his energy splintered – everywhere.

  Chapter 19

  Celina reached out to Stefan then hesitated. She didn’t know if she should touch him or if that would disturb whatever he was trying to do. He was so still. Yet wisps of air escaped through his mouth. She could hear that movement but nothing else. She moved her hand up to the sound, her fingers gently brushing the sides of his cheekbones.