Celeste Read online

  She repeated her comment as if it were a common occurrence. Only it wasn’t. And she wasn’t sure what to do about it, either. If anything. These were spirit pets. Animals. And as such, they had feelings and needs, too. Not all spirit animals appeared when physical animals died. It had taken her a long time to understand, and it had taken Granny’s confirmation as well, but some animals were spirit animals from the beginning, as if born into such a thing. She couldn’t imagine, but their existence was proven fact. And in some cases, they became as strongly bonded to another spirit pet as they did to a human.

  And in her case Darbo and Silky were one. Part of the reason she’d been devastated when Darbo had left with Matt. It had been a rejection for Silky, too.

  Now Silky stretched a long finger down her cheek. Right. That had been her human interpretation of a spirit animal event, and according to Silky it wasn’t true. They were just as close as ever, because the two were in telepathic communication, like all the spirit animals. Only stronger.

  So although they hadn’t been physically close, they’d been close on every other plane.

  Silky had said being in physical proximity was a bonus, but not necessary, as they traveled at will.

  Now, Celeste wondered if she should question Silky’s stance on that.

  She’d heard the locks go earlier, and understood what was happening, but not the reasons behind it, until she’d seen Darbo and Silky’s reunion. Damn, it was going to be hard to keep Matt out of her life, if her spirit pet wanted to be closer with his spirit pet.

  So much for distance not being an issue…

  Then maybe it was love. And as everyone knew, love crossed all boundaries—especially distance.

  “That’s possible?”

  “Spirit animals are pure energy. They can do a lot. If they really want something, they can do more than they let on.”

  She watched as Matt leaned back and studied the animals all around. Twitch, a tiny field mouse sat beside her, sniffing her tea. She reached out a gentle hand and stroked his tiny back.

  “There are a lot of animals in need here. I’ll have to see if I can find bonds for many of them.”

  “What do you do with a little guy like him?” Matt asked pointing to Twitch. “He’s hardly going to ride on your shoulder.”

  “No, but as they are spirit pets, they can cross distances by thinking about it.”

  Twitch, as if eager to demonstrate, faded away in front of their eyes and reappeared at the window sill. She pointed him out to Matt, who stared, jaw dropped, and gaze round and disbelieving.

  “And that means—” she pointed to Darbo deliberately “—that while you are sleeping or busy, Darbo and Silky can and have been visiting each other, without anyone knowing.”

  His gaze zinged back at her, then down to Darbo, who was slowly making his way across to Silky, who sat in the middle of the table, her tiny sloth body stationary, both her huge sloth like arms out and open. It took him forever to cross the distance physically but when he reached her, their arms went around each other and heads tucked into each other’s shoulders, appeared to fall asleep.

  “I had no idea,” he said in a shocked voice. “Is that why you were so mad at me for bonding to Darbo?”

  “That’s one of the reasons,” she said, quietly. “You took Darbo away from not just me, but also from Silky.”

  “I truly didn’t know,” he whispered. “I didn’t think such a bond between spirit animals was even possible.”

  “It took me years to understand it, too,” she said. “Granny helped explain it all, but I didn’t see it for the longest time.”

  Matt settled back, looking stunned.

  “And the other part of why you were so angry over Darbo?”

  She shrugged and played with her mug handle, as she stared the tea sloshing inside. She needed to get it out. Explain what she could. It was only fair.

  “I was a mess,” she said softly. “I couldn’t think or see anything clearly. It was all so confusing.”

  She paused. Her throat constricted at the thought of saying any more. But she had to get this out. She owed him that much.

  “And the more we fought, regardless of who was right or wrong, it became something else in my mind.”

  He leaned across and picked up her hand in his, but he didn’t say anything. She could feel his silent urging to get it out. To help him understand. “I know. I was there, remember?” he said gently. “You were really struggling with losing her.”

  Of course he knew. “The thing is, you were there and Granny wasn’t. And I wanted her to be. So in my twisted state, the more we fought, the more I wished she was there and you were gone. When you took Darbo away, a spirit pet who’d been as close to Granny as he was to me, it was like I lost Granny all over again—and like I pushed you, both of you, away.” She stared out the window, hating what she was going to say next. She took a deep breath and added, “And I couldn’t take it. So I ran.”

  He sat back and studied her. She dropped her gaze to her cup. It sounded stupid now. How could one explain what it was like back then? All the pain, and pressure, and the loss… Good Lord, the loss had been so difficult. “Instead of letting you be my support system, I needed you to leave, too. So found ways to push you away.”

  She heard his strangled exclamation. “That makes no sense.”

  “I had lost so much.” But she pushed on. “I couldn’t take more.”

  “So you pushed me away so you’d have less loss?” He shook his head. “You were losing me, then, too. Losing what we had together.”

  “But I’d lose you eventually, and what we had was getting stronger. Getting deeper. And I knew I couldn’t handle it when I’d gone to pieces over losing Granny. So I had to make sure you left.” She took a deep breath. “To protect myself.”

  And that made her sound like a weak, silly fool. It sounded stupid now that she’d said it. Yet she meant it. Every word. At least, she had at the time.

  *

  “So let me get this straight, you did everything you could to break us up because you cared too much? So that you didn’t have to face losing me at some nameless point in the future?” he said in frustration. “Really? You sent me away because you loved me too much.”

  She blinked. Then frowned. “It doesn’t sound quite right when you put it that way.”

  “It doesn’t sound right no matter what way anyone puts it,” he snapped. He pushed away from the table and got up. Striding over to the kitchen window he stared at the world. He was so angry inside, so betrayed. Because she’d loved him too much she couldn’t survive if she lost him, so she cut him loose before their love grew any deeper.

  He’d never thought to see the day.

  What she’d put him through… Put them through… “I spent the last year trying to figure out what I did. What I could have done better, more. And instead, you’re saying that what I did wrong was love you too much.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Inside, though, there was a lot he wanted to say. Like, how could she do that to him? She’d only been thinking about herself. And that was so unlike her. She was the most giving, caring person he’d ever met. It had been partly why he’d been attracted to her. Yet, she’d tossed him overboard to preserve herself. He couldn’t reconcile those two halves of her personality.

  “It’s for the best.”

  Her dismissive tone might have worked if they hadn’t just had this conversation, but he could sense the cracking underneath. Something about all of this didn’t read quite true. They were close to it. But maybe not all the way. She likely didn’t know what was going on in there, either.

  He needed to step back and let her be. She’d been through a lot. She had a lot more to go through. And then maybe then they could get to the bottom of this.

  Nothing had changed, really. He couldn’t let her go. And he couldn’t live with himself if he let something happen to her. Maybe they could work this out in time.

  He hoped so. />
  He turned to study her downcast face and the long hair she was trying to hide behind.

  “What’s for the best?” he asked, and she glanced up in surprise. He suddenly realized how long his silence had been. “What did you mean by that?”

  “I mean that you’re better off without me.”

  “Are you trying to piss me off?” He said, losing his hard-won control. “Because talk like that will do it.”

  She bounced to her feet. “Not everything I do is to piss you off. We aren’t meant to be. That’s all there is to it. Go find yourself another girl.”

  His eyebrows shot up at the anger in her voice.

  “And if I don’t want another girl?” he said, his gaze narrowed and locked on to her flushed face. “What then?”

  Her mouth opened then snapped shut. “Then it’s too bad for you.” And she turned as if to walk away.

  Only, he’d had just about enough of her walking away from him. He reached out and snagged her arm and tugged her backwards. She spun and opened her mouth to blast him. He gave her a dangerous smile and interrupted her before she could speak. “That’s the last time you’re going to run away.”

  Wrapping her up in his embrace, he lowered his head and kissed her—hard. This damn fool woman had no idea where she belonged, and even though part of her knew, she let the rest of herself convince her otherwise.

  Well, he’d had enough.

  He shifted her more comfortably in his embrace and loosened his hold slightly to kiss her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stopped him from withdrawing.

  Like hell he was leaving. This is exactly where he belonged, too. Why couldn’t she see that? He lowered his head again.

  When she sagged against him, he gentled the kiss, before pulling back slightly. He smiled at her unfocused gaze and swollen lips. She lay snug against his chest, and he pressed his lips against her temple. Another on her forehead. He couldn’t stop touching her. He cuddled her close, so damn grateful to have her in his arms.

  They’d always been good together. The air electrically charged around them, keeping them in this cocoon of awareness—always knowing where the other was. Thankfully, that still existed.

  Chapter 15

  He’d always been able to turn her mind to mush. She was starting to wonder if there’d ever been anything else inside her but him. He was hers. Always had been. But she hadn’t understood. Like, why her? There were girls falling all over themselves to get to him. He’d been her first. He’d been her only. Yet, he’d had many lovers before, and as much as she hated to think about it, he’d likely had lovers since she left. Surely, he could do so much better than a mixed up, neurotic, stargazer’s granddaughter. She knew he could. But while he was locked on her, he wasn’t looking for anyone else.

  Granny had said he was hers, if she wanted him to be.

  She’d tried to question her about that. But Granny hadn’t explained. In fact, she’d refused to say any more.

  Of course, she wanted him. But she really wanted him to want her. It couldn’t last. Not being under whatever weird spell he’d been under. He had to have been under some foreign influence to want her. She almost laughed at that. She didn’t want any more pain, anyway. So, she’d pushed him away and ran, so she wouldn’t have to see. See who he’d choose next time.

  And he had a lot of choice. Always.

  She’d done nothing but make a mess of her life.

  And he deserved so much more.

  “So, what is all of this?” he exclaimed softly. “You’re mumbling about not being right for me?”

  She froze. Then winced. Apparently, she’d said that out loud.

  He tilted her face up so he could look into her confused gaze. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I’m never going to not want you. It’s been a hellish long year for me. I’d like to think that you suffered slightly, as well.” She tried to pull back, and he shook his head. “No. No more pulling away. Let’s get to the bottom of the—”

  Crash

  The door on the cottage buckled and twisted outward, remaining intact. But barely.

  Animals screamed in terror, and the air in the cottage crackled.

  Celeste raced to the door, screaming. “Silky, Darbo.”

  Matt could barely see the energy of the two little sloths as they added their tiny bits to hers. All the animals in the room shifted their energy on top of each other’s, until there was a blue streak of twisting winding electrical currents flashing through the tiny building.

  “Damn. What is it?” he yelled across the din.

  “Someone is attacking from the outside.”

  He raced to the door and tried to pull inward.

  “Don’t,” she cried. “It’s energy work. Way too strong for mere physical strength.”

  Say what? He stared at the darkness encroaching the cabin. “What the hell is that?”

  “Don’t look at it,” she snapped. “This is likely whatever killed the two men in the woods.”

  He tore his gaze away, to see her sitting cross-legged on the floor, and her hands out, joining with the animals around her. “Let me help,” he said, dropping to the floor.

  “I can do this,” she insisted. “But your help is welcome.”

  He could do more than help. He was an excellent amplifier. He reached out and disconnected her hand from the field mouse and took the field mouse’s place, and instantly connecting to Darbo on the other side. As soon as the broken links was closed, power forged through the cabin.

  “Whoa, nice energy there, Matt,” Celeste murmured.

  “I try.”

  “You’ve been working on it a lot while I was gone,” she whispered. “I can do something with that.” She was amazed at the power surging through her fingertips because of him. She’d known he was strong. But now, after this year, he was stronger yet again. He’d always been good for boosting her flagging energy when she was tired, but this was so much more. He’d been working on his energy skills. She knew he had.

  Now if only she knew what he’d done.

  She reinforced the security of the house, then added layers and layers of love to the energy. Negativity was never the way to go, as healing energy always healed, no matter what or who. She just had to stay ahead of the drain. Healing on this scale was hard. Damn hard. But with Matt…

  The battle raged on, with her and the animals inside, and whatever controlled that black energy outside. She didn’t know how they’d been able to track her down but they had, somehow, and now this was a battle for supremacy.

  One she daren’t lose.

  There was too much at stake.

  She could sense the anger. The antagonism of the other energy. It was furious. At what, Celeste didn’t know, but it simmered with hatred. For her. There was only one outcome allowed in this case. The enemy wanted her dead.

  *

  Matt closed his eyes and opened his senses. He was only learning to send out probes, so this experiment could go very wrong.

  But the energy behind this black cloud was pissed. And he hadn’t a clue why, but he needed to find out. He sent the probe sprawling outward, into the center of the black energy.

  Then he heard his name. A startled acknowledgement that he was there. Followed by a huge wave of anger like he’d never experienced before. As a wall of black poured over them.

  He heard Celeste cry out.

  Holding her hand tight, he opened his eyes to see all the animals now in a big energy circle, wave upon wave flowing outward. And still, this energy resisted.

  Like hell.

  He sent more energy probes, keeping his energy neutral and calm, driving them into the center of the darkness. Instantly, he was buffeted from side to side, as the energy fought him back. How could it know what he’d done?

  Celeste tightened her grip on his fingers “Do it again,” she whispered. “I’ll cover you.”

  Surprised that she’d any idea what he’d done in the first place, and not sure what covering meant, he sent m
ore energy into the darkness.

  This time, his energy was strong, but…weak. What the hell? His probe was going in deeper, and picking up more than he’d ever managed before, and yet the blackness didn’t appear to know he was there.

  And then he realized that she’d covered his energy with a blanket of the same darkness. Somehow, she’d grabbed a corner of the darkness and wrapped his probe in it to hide it, allowing him to do what he needed to do.

  So great was his shock that for a long moment he was uncertain what his next step was.

  “Move,” she muttered harshly. “Now.”

  Right. Back to business. He collected a sample of the energy, tried to get a signature of the person behind all this, and then slowly, carefully, withdrew. He’d learned something, for sure. There was no heart to that energy. It was black all the way through, and as far as he could see, there was no person anywhere close by.

  Making this the most powerful energy worker he’d ever come across.

  Chapter 16

  Celeste cascaded blue healing lights over the blackness. Instinct had her wanting to run and hide and let someone else deal with this mess, but her granny, who’d likely been the only ‘someone else’ who could manage this, was gone. It was up to her. And Matt, apparently. She wondered at his abilities and the power behind them. She’d wondered if her abilities might get stronger through her union with him, but they hadn’t. It had been a disappointment. Now she wondered if it was merely that she’d been such a mess back then. And not sufficiently developed, herself. Right now, his power was amplifying her power in a big way. She closed her eyes, delighting in her connection to the animal world, as she heard the tiny murmurs of those in the circle. They were all handing over the same healing energy she’d have handed over to her granny. It was as though she now held Granny’s power seat. It was such an odd feeling. She wiggled slightly, as if trying to fit into shoes that were too big.

  Matt squeezed her fingers. She opened her gaze to see Twitch sitting on hers and Matt’s joined hands. He was sprawled on his belly fast asleep, his little legs hanging off the back of her hand.