Eyes to the Soul Page 10

  Anger for what? Stefan asked cautiously.

  I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her.

  He snorted. And how do you recommend I do that?

  There was a long silence. He shifted in his position like a child caught in a lie.

  She smiled, the mirth rippling through his mind. He flushed. Damn it. Was nothing ever secret?

  I’ll leave you to answer that question all on your own, she said, laughing. I need to do some more research on Celina and that blockage. I left anchors in place to make it easier to track back.

  Does she know what you’re doing?

  Not clearly. She did agree to see me as a specialist. She was aware subconsciously of my actions as I worked to balance her chakras and smooth the blockages in her meridians. She’s very responsive. But it’s not like we had a discussion on energetic healing.

  Excellent. And it was. It made a person easier to work with, and they healed faster if their energy ran smoothly. It also showed an affinity for energy work. That would also explain her kinship with ghosts. Energy was energy – on both sides of death’s door.

  *

  Jacob stared at the nurse. She wavered in front of him. He squinted hard. He didn’t know what was wrong. He’d thought he’d seen Celina earlier. Thought he’d heard her music, but couldn’t remember clearly. As if he was in a fog.

  He’d tried to speak to her, tried to leave her a message, but nothing worked. He didn’t understand it. He couldn’t be dead because he could see as clear as anything. He could walk, breathe, smell even, but no one seemed to see him or could hear him. Except there were one or two people that maybe could. At least they looked at him as if they could. He hated that. They looked at him, through him, and around him as if he was there but they never said a word. Why? Frustration ate at him. He desperately wanted answers, but there seemed to be no one that could help.

  He turned around and found himself in a beautiful garden. Shock slammed into him. What had happened to the dismal hospital room? Not that he cared. This was so much better. He spun in a circle arms wide open, grinning as he stared at the sky, the flowers, the grass. And came to a stop.

  A young woman sat cross-legged in front of him.

  He held his breath.

  She looked at him and smiled. “Hi, I’m Lissa. I’m going to take a wild guess that you’re lost.”

  Chapter 11

  Celina opened the door to her apartment and barely made it inside before she knew she was going to crash. She didn’t know what had happened at the doctor’s office, but that wonderful feeling had disappeared – as in long gone. Like someone had pulled a plug in her big toe and all the stuffing had drained out – was still continuing to drain. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so empty. So lacking in bone and muscle she could no longer stay upright.

  She didn’t like it.

  Throwing her bag onto the table beside the entrance and staggering into her bedroom, she kicked off her shoes and managed to get her jacket off before she dropped face-first on the bed. She groaned in relief. She’d made it.

  “What is wrong with me?” she groaned to the empty room.

  Mimi answered, “What’s happened?”

  “No idea. First the stupid appointment I’d forgotten about, then a weird session with the specialist.” Celina rolled over slightly. “Followed by a strange experience that ended with an excruciating headache.”

  “Are you feeling better now?” Mimi asked.

  Eyes closed, she considered the question. “I feel better all over as if I’d had been at the spa all day, but I’m also exhausted. That pain though…talk about scary. It was like someone hit a tumor in my head. The pain is better now but it’s not completely gone. More like it’s waiting to rear up again at the slightest warning.”

  She shifted on the bed, and damn if that pain didn’t start to roll toward the front of her head. “No,” she gasped. “That can stop any time.”

  “Is it the headache again?”

  “Yes.” She groaned. “It really hurts.”

  “Try to relax,” Mimi said, “Maybe it will ease back.”

  “I’m trying.” She twisted in pain, wishing her ghostly visitors away, no matter how loving and concerned they were. They were dead.

  In a gentle voice, Mimi said, “If you could mentally try to release the pain…”

  “Ha, that’s easier said than done.” Celina shuddered as another greasy wave rolled through her. Could she make it to the bathroom and find something for the pain. She hated drugs, but there was no doubt they were a godsend sometimes. Right now was starting to look to be one of those times.

  With any luck a painkiller would let her fall asleep for a couple of hours. She wanted to drop out of her life and come awake to being someone else. She knew it was childish. It didn’t change anything.

  “Stop being an idiot and get up,” she muttered to the empty room.

  “You’re not being an idiot,” said Mimi.

  Mimi had the ability to appear and disappear at will, she thought a little wistfully. Why couldn’t Celina?

  “Your life will get better,” Mimi said gently.

  “Yeah? When?” With that she forced herself to sit up. And pain slammed into the back of her head. She cried out and fell back onto the pillows.

  She lay gasping for breath as she waited for the booming in her head to lessen. When it started up again she shuddered slightly. A light film of sweat had risen over her skin.

  “What’s going on?” she whispered. “Why is this so bad?”

  It’s bad because you wouldn’t listen. That same evil voice twisted through her head. And if you try to send someone else in here to get rid of me your punishment will be much worse. His voice promised retribution she knew she could never handle.

  “I didn’t send someone to get rid of you,” she cried out. “Honest. I didn’t even know that was possible.” And now that she did… she immediately squashed that thought in case he could hear it.

  You must have. There’s no other way that person could have gotten in here without your permission. That means you let them in. That means you wanted them to get rid of me.

  Accenting his anger, pain stabbed through her skull to rest just behind her eyes. She screamed, her back arching, her fists grabbing handfuls of the bedding beneath her. She twisted in slow, painful attempts to move away from the pain. Suddenly it stopped and she collapsed to the bed again, weeping. “Why are you doing this to me?” she cried out.

  Behave yourself and I won’t have to.

  And he was gone.

  *

  Stefan watched in horror as Celina twisted and cried from a pain she couldn’t bear, seemingly coming from inside. He could see no outside injury and no change in her energy. Who? Why? It made no sense. If someone was attacking her then their energy should be clear enough for him to see. It wasn’t. He was only here in his etheric form, true, but he’d never had a problem seeing invasive energy before. Or seeing the energy connected to whomever she was talking to – he had to assume someone was there. Someone who had a way to keep their presence hidden. As in behind walls. Strong walls.

  And damned if that didn’t just piss him off. He needed to keep Celina safe, and that was not happening in any easy way. He could see the anchors that Dr. Maddy had placed. There were no black blobs or encroaching dying energy. He couldn’t begin to see what was going on. Because he couldn’t, he felt helpless.

  It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He wanted to jump into her mind and find out for himself if someone was in there. Then again, the intruder could possibly make Celina pay in even more painful ways. Any added pressure right now would likely knock her out cold. Although if she were unconscious he might be able to get a clearer picture.

  He watched her as she struggled to the bathroom for a painkiller then back before collapsing into bed again. Within minutes she slept, no longer fighting the pain but instead letting it take her under. Good. He sighed. She needed to rest. He didn’t know what the story was,
but she looked physically worn out and mentally exhausted.

  Yet he found himself hesitating to enter her mind. A stranger’s mind, no problem. But this was Celina. His beloved. His natural mate who had no idea who he was or what she was to him. Too bad he couldn’t just up and tell her. But the universe didn’t work that way.

  She had to see him for her partner all on her own.

  If she were to understand afterward what he’d done without her permission then it could damage something between them. Though there wasn’t anything there yet, there wouldn’t be if he crossed personal boundaries. That made him tread a little lighter than he might have in other cases.

  Plus he didn’t know this parasite and what he could do. The last thing he wanted was to give him a reason to hurt Celina again.

  Too bad she didn’t know him. He could offer his help or to talk to her about her abilities and current difficulties right now, but he didn’t think she was ready. He could use mind suggestion as a technique to propose she do something that she wouldn’t normally do, but again that breached a line he couldn’t cross. So what the hell was he going to do?

  Then he got it. He could visit her dreams.

  *

  Celina ran through the endless darkness. There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide, and yet she didn’t know what she was running from.

  She staggered to a stop under a tree and leaned against it, trying to catch her breath. She walked a few steps and shook out her legs. The sky was dark, she was outside in the woods, and yet she didn’t know why she was here. Or why her dreams would put her here. She didn’t recognize the area at all.

  A twig cracked behind her. She froze.

  “Celina?”

  She frowned. That voice almost sounded familiar. Almost. She slipped behind the tree and peered into the darkness. A golden glow formed off to one side. She shook her head and squinted. Surely that wasn’t…a ghost?

  No. She leaned back against the tree. Dreams were bizarre a lot of the time. Dark ones like this – always. But to see a ghost in her dream? Was that possible? No. She was manifesting him for some reason.

  At least in her dreams she could see – mostly. And that was a relief. It was also a pleasure. She snorted. It helped her to live her life of darkness when she was awake.

  As she leaned against the damn tree, she had to wonder if this dream was a metaphor for someone chasing her in the darkness of her life. Maybe she had a stalker who wanted to taunt her instead of attacking her? Like the evil voice in her head. Although he attacked her plenty. The reminder made her sick. Indeed, she leaned over and took several deep breaths, willing the bile back down her throat.

  “Celina,” the voice called again, only closer this time. And more familiar.

  Who was he? She wasn’t scared of him and that had to be a good sign. “Who are you and why are you a ghost in my dreams?” she asked. “That makes no sense.”

  He hesitated, and then said in a voice tinged in humor, “If you know it’s a dream, why are you still running? Why not just change the dream?”

  Say what? She twisted so she could see his golden glow clearly. “How is that possible?”

  “If you’re aware enough to understand you are in a dream, then you are aware enough to change the dream by just creating a different reality.”

  She straightened and brushed the back of her jeans as she thought about his words. “You’re saying I can just change anything I want?”

  “Within reason. This is lucid dreaming, and some people can exert a great deal of control over the dream.”

  “Yeah, well.” She half-turned to look into the dark woods. “Apparently I can’t. I’m not some people. In fact, I’m not remarkable in that way at all.”

  He laughed. She turned to glare at him but her attention was caught by the light shining over the area where she stood. She spun around, realizing the dark, scary woods were now being swamped with bright morning sun. In the light, the scenery reminded her of an old place where her family had gone camping many times over the years.

  It wasn’t a full recreation, but it was enough to make her smile with the good memories. “What happened?” she asked.

  “I lightened the tone for you.”

  She stared at him then cocked her head. “Sorry? You changed my dream? How does that work?”

  He smiled and walked closer. “As I said, in a lucid dream you can make things happen the way you want them to happen.”

  “But I didn’t make the sun come out. You did.”

  “Because that’s what you wanted. I couldn’t have done it otherwise.”

  She shook her head. “Who are you that you can do this?”

  “I’m the man in your dreams,” he said, his voice just short of amused.

  And it clicked. “You’re the police consultant.”

  And she woke up.

  Dry-eyed, she stared at the ceiling mulling the impossibility of her dream. Resolutely she rolled over, determined to go back to sleep.

  Chapter 12

  The next morning Celina woke up slowly. It took a moment to realize the pain was gone and her body lay relaxed and at peace. She’d actually gotten some sleep – thanks to the knockout pills she’d taken. She checked out her body and realized that all in all, she felt pretty decent. Not sure why, but she’d take the gift. As she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, her muscles moved smoothly and freely. No aches or stiffness from the horrible accident.

  The thought reminded her that she hadn’t checked in on Jacob. Maybe she could visit him at the hospital today. Eagerly she stood and headed to the bathroom. The closer she went, the slower her footsteps. She lifted her head and wrinkled her nose. It smelled sweet. Normal. She stepped inside. It felt right again. She cocked her head and wondered. For some reason her apartment had that old homey feeling to it again. It no longer felt like her space had been violated.

  Happily she headed to the shower. It was an odd feeling being in there, but there was no scent of anything wrong. Still…she made a quick job of it. When drying off she thought she heard a noise. Her towel moved slower over her wet body, head cocked to one side as she listened carefully. Nothing. Briskly she wrapped a towel around her wet hair, grabbed her robe, and returned to her bedroom. Halfway there she saw Mimi. She smiled. “Hey, was that you making that noise?”

  Mimi snickered. “Not likely, but I wish I could. Just think of all the fun I could have.”

  Celina shook her head and continued into the closet to pull out clothes for the day. She stood and stared blankly, wondering what color she wanted to wear. And realized black jeans and her favorite long red sweater would be perfect. It took her just a moment to find the items in her extremely well-organized closet. It was the only way she’d know to be able to find the right clothes when she needed them. When it came to spring cleaning, yes, she enlisted friends to help her go through her closet and find the clothes that were too worn to be good, or the ones that had slipped to the back of the closet where she’d forgotten about them.

  “That color looks lovely on you.”

  Besides, Mimi’s taste was excellent.

  “For a ghost you’re very observant,” she said, but there was a smile in her voice. She had instinctively dressed in her walk-in closet outside of her room. She’d been seeing and talking to ghosts for a long time and it was natural, familiar, but there were just some things that didn’t feel quite right. Walking around nude in front of them was one of those things. Mimi was forever commenting on her clothes, having been a clotheshorse in her lifetime. For that reason Celina often used Mimi’s eyes for picking out clothes. Even in her case Celina didn’t completely undress. Ghost or not, she preferred her privacy, and some ghosts didn’t appear to understand that.

  She placed a quick call to the hospital and found out that Jacob still wasn’t faring well and only family would be allowed to visit. With tears in her eyes she put on coffee, wondering if there was anything she could do for him. He’d loved music. She wished she’d be allowed t
o go to the hospital with her small harp and play for him. Maybe it would make him sleep easier.

  She stared in the direction of her musical instruments and realized that was something she could do regardless.

  She ate a simple breakfast, mulling over the vagaries of life and decided that she’d sit inside this afternoon and work on that score she’d been trying to write. Jacob had been the one to challenge her to put it on paper. She smiled. Maybe he had the right of it after all. She didn’t want to leave this earth without leaving behind something that expressed her years here on the planet. Something to justify her usage of the food she ate and the air she breathed. It was a different concept, but it felt right to her. In fact, as she washed up the few dishes she’d used, she had to wonder if that wasn’t a gift she could give to Jacob when he woke up.

  Writing that score would require a little bit more of herself than she’d given so far. Jacob would appreciate her making that effort.

  Empowered, she walked into the living room and sat down with a notebook at her side. A habit she’d yet to break. She’d never learned Braille – another bit of defiance on her part. She’d turned to audio books when her sight had disappeared.

  She turned on her laptop then opened her file. She loved that she was still connected to the world digitally. She took notes through her voice-recognition program and always recorded her music on her laptop as well. She had a special keyboard and software all donated by the Society for the Blind. Accepting it had been difficult, but she hadn’t wanted to be completely cut off from the world to the extent of not having a computer.

  The speakers didn’t offer the best sound, but hearing her music playing back meant she had the ability to tweak the notes to make it perfect. She listened to the recording of what she’d written so far and had to admit that it wasn’t half bad. Now if only she could finish it.

  She picked up her harp and drew her fingers across the strings, a smile lighting up inside, the graceful, haunting notes filling the room. In her mind’s eye she could see the purple notes rippling through the room. She deliberately added a red, then a turquoise, and followed it by several white strands, watching as the colors rippled and played as her music lifted and fell with their actions. She knew the colors were the music and the music was the colors, but sometimes it seemed they had a life of their own. She couldn’t always tell which came first. She just knew together they created something special. She struggled to work on the composition the way she had it, but her mind wouldn’t let go of the colors.